♥ Princessa's Royal Diary ♥ - Royalty has never been so PINK!

It’s been 2 weeks since I started the new term, should have been 3 weeks, but I missed the first week of school. However, waking up early in the morning taking an hour bus ride to school is still something I haven’t really gotten used to.

During my early school days, my mum would drive me to school and someone would come pick me up after. Back then, I used to hate it as I felt very restricted. Now, I miss having that privilege to be chaffered around.

Okay, enough with the ‘whining about waking up to go school’.

School

Today during my Principles of Quantitative Methods (it’s kinda a mixture of Statistics and Mathematics) class, I was completely LOST. I was practically glaring at the graphics and formulas in daze. Suddenly Principles of Account seemed easier than Statistics and Mathematics, which was never the case. ‘Accounts’ was never my cup of tea, but it seemed it’s met its match.

Anyway, the lecturer ended our class very early. Though we still had to wait to sign our attendance’s list, classes still ended 30 minutes before time, envy? Usually this would be a treat, but today, it’s a dread. My dear isn’t going to be home until 4pm, being at home alone was no different from staying in school alone. Thus, I decided to punish myself and stay in school to complete my assignment. That didn’t really drag much time though, by 12.30 pm, I was done.

Reaching home close to 2pm, I was hungry and bored. Time seemed to pass by so slowly…

As usual, surfing the web (and reading blogs) was the best alternative. Of cause, not to forget a little of MSN chatting. Sometimes I wish I had a more friends, my MSN list is kinda short, so there is a high chance that no body would be online or most would be on away or busy mode. Still, though little choices I had to kill my time, time would still go by.

Surf, surf, read, read.

Why do I blog?

After reading Xialanxue’s blog, the entry on the ‘exposure’ of Xiaxue, the comments made by other bloggers, and other bloggers’ entries in their blogs, I was quite shaken. It made me wonder what my intentions were when I stated blogging…

Since primary school, I’ve kept a diary to record daily archives. Years’ back, after advancing in technology (internet), my written diary became an online one. Like my written diary, it was where I kept records of daily archives. But differ from my written diary, I started whining more, write about more variety of topics, and recently, photos. My writing style since pencil written, to pen written, to typed, had never really changed (other than grammar, vocabulary and some other journalism aspects). I still wrote in a way like I was talking and whining to an imaginary friend, which was my diary (or blog as people nowadays call it).

Recently, more people started what they refer to as blogging. And slowly my concept of writing my diary also changed, a little. I stopped referring to my diary as my diary and started referring to it as my blog. I became more concerned with what I write, how much I write, and how interesting I’ve written it. I also allowed comments to be written and moderated, and changed my guest book to a tagboard / shoutbox.

Have I changed? Is it like, some had said about other bloggers, I too am attention seeking? Probably or probably not, I’m not sure I have an answer yet. Sigh.

Finally

Getting into the right picture, while browsing and deleting some ‘friends’ on my Friendster’s friend list, out of boredom I started going through a couple of profiles to see if any of my ‘friends’ blogged and if their blogs were good. That was when I realized my primary school friend, Xingzhi, had opened a café, shortly after her birthday.

First thing that came to mind, “Why didn’t she tell me!”

Flashback

We’ve known each other since primary school, and we were so close back then. I never liked going to school, I was a kid and waking up 6am in the morning was not something I enjoy. Anyway, most days I would force myself to do so, just to be able to hang with them (Xingzhi, Yanyi and etc). But something kinda happened and it wasn’t an argument). I guess its part of nature, when people grow older they change, things that used to be, isn’t anymore. The moment we stepped into secondary school, our strong friendship disappeared. Our group broke up, Yanyi was in a different school altogether.

I remember when school just started, I was neither able to adapt nor make new friends. I don’t really like my class, which was supposed the best class. I didn’t know anyone. Most of them were from other primary schools. At the start, I would wait in the canteen for Xingzhi, but I would always see her with her new friends, and all I could do was only see. Slowly, our distance seemed to have widened to an extreme we just stopped talking, completely. Probably because we were from difference classes, there was this invisible barrier between us. Xingzhi and Yanyi were two of my best friends, but now I’m not sure if we’ve even considered friends.

In my primary school days, other than ice skating, they were the most important to me. Losing them back then, was something very depressing for me, though I kept it to myself. To think about it, what choices did I have? I didn’t have other friends to whine to anyway.

Shortly, going to school became pointless and a torture. For the whole of my secondary one year, my attendance was crap, and I can say I barely knew my classmates. I would rather spend my time in the skating ring than go to school and face a bunch of strangers.

You know something, you can lose friends because they are human beings and have their freewill, but you can’t lose your interest or dreams because that’s controlled by none other than yourself. For me, ice skating was my interest, I would not lose it, unless I choose to. However, eventually I did. After losing to the Hong Kong skater during the South-east Asia Ice skating tournament, 8 years back, I decided to give up ice skating as well. But that’s another tale, for another time…

Regrets

If there was a chance to regain that connection we shared in primary school, I would exchange anything for it. Though this friendship didn’t last very long, but it was one of the most ‘true’ friendships I ever felt.

Primary school days were the most innocent days of any human being, or at least most. After those days, everything starts to change…

Friends come and go in a flash, and true friends practically didn’t exist. Fortunately for me, Priss came along. Though I’m not her best friend, but she is mine. Of cause, Cas’s group is not forgotten, but our distance is simply our greatest barrier.

Ok, way too emotional.

Another day, my dear diary.