♥ Princessa's Royal Diary ♥ - Royalty has never been so PINK!

How should I put it, everything in this universe changes, I guess I have changed as well. Probably this is just poor timing, or cause by some influences that I can't explain. Nevertheless, it has happened, and can't be reverted back to what it was before.

I wouldn't say it's a change of heart, more like realizing my heart. I do love him, but it's just not the same anymore. I don't know if I can keep my word and stop being who I am. Afterall, what he's asking is of me is to not be myself. I fear I will be punished for not being able to change myself. On the other hand, I also fear that I might actually change and complete lose who I am. Like living with a mask, not being able to be who you actually are.

Damn it, is living suppose to be so fake? Why can't I be mean when I want to, and be nice when I choose to be? Why do I need to pretend to or remain silent when I feel that guy is a fool? Why can't I be unhappy when someone tells me off?

When I tell someone off, he can choose to get pissed and vent his anger back, and with his reaction I can also choose to completely ignore him. What's wrong with that? Yes, people might hate me, some might accept me, some might just simply adapt and ignore me. Can you choose what people think about you? Ain't true friends those that accept you for who you are?

Okay getting really off point...

The point is, I'm not so sure if I can live with myself not being myself. And what if I can't manage to change myself? Will I be punished for being who I am?

Shouldn't love be, hoping the person you love is happy? If not, than what is love?

Drown me.