♥ Princessa's Royal Diary ♥ - Royalty has never been so PINK!

I was messaging a friend asking for luck for tomorrow's paper as well as saying "enjoy your trip" kinda message cause he's out field. He called back and we had a short chat. Told him about the new guild I found for our guildies, other then that nothing much else was said, hanged up real soon after.

I was finally able to call Prissy in Aussie, really miss her alot. As usual she gave the very "shuang kuai" advice, which I almost decided to take. However, Lyon (aka Shooterankv) saved that day. I saw a message he sent after we hang up that he was patching back with Ada. Quite a shock but nevertheless I somewhat happy for him. Then I started thinking, if he and Ada could get back together after all that, there's no reason why things can't change for the better with me and Ahsa.

Honestly, I'm really shocked with the message, but very curious how it happened. Is it really possible that a relationship can be saved after every bad thing that happened? I'm desperate to find out what and how. But nevertheless I'm so glad my friend found happiness.

* Updated... 07/06/2006 1.20AM

I suddenly remembered something he mentioned before, Ada easily get jealous. Sigh. In the end I still lose a good friend, this world is so unfair. At least Prissy coming back on June 21/22, 2006, that's like 2 more weeks?! It's like happy and sad feeling both at once, but I don't know which feeling is stronger.

I'm happy cause Prissy is coming back Singapore and I can meet her once in a while to just chill. And I'm happy that my friend isn't ignoring me anymore and also patching back with the love of his life.

However...

I'm sad cause it wasn't easy to find a friend that is so considerate, nice and the full gentleman package. And now we definitely can't be friends, I don't want Ada to hate me for bugging her boyfriend all the time. And my relationship still isn't working out for me. If I persist I might have to sacrifice my time completely, and probably can't hang out with Priss either.

IT IS NOT FAIR! Why everyone else's relationship can find a solution yet mine can't seem to find any. Yes, I'm a spoilt brat, I whine, I throw trantrums, and I got a attitude problem. So, with all that means I can't find happiness?

Ok, tomorrow is my final decision, I'm calm and I'm ready. Draw your cards Ahsahei, if we don't come to a conclusion might as well end it after 8 months being together. If this continues, you will either really hate me, or I would really hate you. So now, whatever the results may be, say it, what do you wish of me, if I know I can't do it then LET ME GO?

I thought about it really hard and long, which probably is causing it so hard to sleep at night. I don't think it's right to stay toegether and TOLERATE each other. Don't you see, love isn't everything, our characters play a part to. I keep promising I'll try not to attitude problem but it's not as EASY as you think it is. End up I keep breaking my promise. I need someone that I can talk to, yet talking to you doesn't seem to be working for me. Our views are like worlds apart. When you're tired, usually I'm not.

Things I used and loved to do...

I love chilling with friends at Coffeebean or some cafe, chatting, bitching, and whining. Talking about what's going on in the world, even though it's none of our god damn business.

I love clubbing once in a while, being on top of the platform, and simply enjoying the R&B.

I love window shopping, and of cause buying new clothes once in a while when I have extra cash.

I love going on short holidays when it's possible.
I love camping at the library when exams are coming and drown myself with information I didn't absorb cause I was slacking off in class.

I love dropping at the pool salon after class with my class/schoolmates and owned them or get owned in a game of pool.

I love going to KTV with ANYONE and sing my lungs our once in a while, or pub is fine with me as long as there is no NEED to drink.

I love people telling me "hey you look good in that picture" and being able to show my boyfriend, without him thinking I'm flirting with the guy. Hello, I'm a girl, I do like being praised, and being a "princess" I am, I love praises more than other girls out there.

I love throwing trantrums, it helps me destress and I hope to get attention from my boyfriend. That's my way of staying so "happy go lucky", and my tranturms usually are short, though sometimes powerful.

I love telling white lies to save me from getting scolded, which eventually I spill the beans hoping that my boyfriend would at least give me some credit of making an effort even trying to lie to please him.

I love taking time off and hanging out with my guy friends (unfortunately I get along better with guys cause I have attitude problem and I tend to be a little "not myself" with girls, other than Prissy of cause), crapping, catching a movie, dinner, talking about games, and if my boyfriend wants to tag along, GREAT!

I love gaming (Counter-Strike, Quake 3, World of Warcraft, Warcraft 3, Dota), ice-skating, roller blading, and etc etc etc. Even if my boyfriend can't play it, I hope he would enjoy watching me show off (ok I'm not good at all of it, but rather good at some). ;P
I love knowing new people, some I end up getting along with them, other I end up disliking (vice verse).

I love being friends with my boyfriend's friends, this gives me a benefit of knowing what he might be hiding from me when he doesn't want to tell me (yeah, it's lame but damn, that's me).

There are so many other things I love to do, but have not been doing AT ALL.

Yes, me lying isn't a good thing, but com'on my lies never actually hurt you. I'm just saving my butt, and you know it! So, since you know, why bother making me spill the beans, or distrust me. Hello! It's so obvious when I'm lying, and since you know, it can't really be considered betrayal right? Ok, I'm putting it in a really lame way, but my lies are really pure white. Sometimes I just want to keep some stuff to myself, everyone does that.

Why I feel we can't see eye to eye, all my "loves" is like being a bitch/slut to you. I really don't see what is wrong with my loves. You love mahjong, and I hate it. So, since I don't like it, don't bring me along and it's "world peace". I never said you can't go, I just don't want to go along, and besides I never get to play (even if you let me, I wouldn't want to play with your friends, my pocket would hurt).

My solution for "world peace"...

When I whine, just hear me out, I don't have many people to talk to and when you're around I can't login my MSN and throw tons of words at my friends. Yes, it may be annoying, but it's usually a bunch of crap. Just crack a joke at my whines, and we'll laugh about it. That always worked.

When I throw trantrums, endure or try to make me laugh, com'on I'm short tempered. Have you seen me throw a trantrum for really long? Unless of cause you throw one back at me...

When I attitude problem (but sometimes I'm actually not trying to attitude, it's my face when I'm gloomy), you can make fun of my ugly expression, usually I end up laughing and try to pretend to attitude, which becomes even more funny. But if I say something like, "I'm like that", you can always say something sweet like "I like you like that", sweet talk always chills me out.

Ok these are 3 damn simple tactics that you can use on me, which usually works. It's hard, but well that's me? :)

What I like about a guy...

I like someone that would pamper me, like say some sweet stuff, ask for huggies, praise me once in a while, and tell me he loves me.

I like someone that would send me to my doorstep when it's late at night. I'm seriously scared of the dark when I'm alone, like a baby, I keep the night lights on.
I like someone that would give me a gift once a month during our anniversary, may it be just a pencil, I don't care.

I like someone that would talk to me, listen and give me advice on what I should do or not to do. I make my own decisions, I just like seeking advice.

I like someone that would hear my whines, pretend that they are actually listening then give a "fair" response. Since it's pretending might as well pretend properly right?

I like someone that would give me a surprise, like bring me to the zoo all of a sudden and take dozens of photos. Ok that's a more extreme surprise, just something unexpected is fine.

I like someone that would understand that I'm a silly little thing, I'm not good in observations. Sometimes I flare when a promise was made to go out, but you won't feeling well and had to break it. For that moment, I might flare instead of be concerned, but after that moment, you have to know that I am concerned I just reacted badly.

I like someone that would be there for me when I'm sad, like now when I'm about to fail my exams. I try hard to pretend it's fine, but I'm actually hell worried and probably ain't going to be the best of moods for a couple of days.

I like someone that would be able to accept me for who and what I am, and try to find a way to tame me without me knowing. Either that of find a way that would overcome my shortcomings. There are methods, but best not to let me find out you're using them.

Basically, having me is just unbearable, you really gotta have great patience and tolerance. I don't like being abused, may it be verbally or physically.

I am who I am, the silly little (but piggy) me.