It's a good time to start changing my ways, care a little less about others and alot more about myself. All my good intentions seems to backfire right in my face. Have I really given up on myself that I put my hopes on others?

Today, I found out alot, I was told alot, and hopefully learnt and understand alot. It seems I'm different, and unfortunately, in a bad way. It seems everything about me is bad. It seems I'm well disliked.

Suddenly I feel this world is dark and cold. Everyone is selfish, no one is actually willing to do anything for anyone else without benefits.

At least one of my theories is true. Truth does reveal itself. Something from the past was revealed today, something I wish I did not find out. However, though trying hard to avoid finding out the truth, the truth still found it's way to me. Though it's something that happened months ago, finding out the truth made it a fresh wound. Why must this be concluded? Why couldn't it just remain unsolved? Why did I have to find out?

This must be an ultimate joke of the century. I am but a fool.

I feel angry, sad and very much confused.

Anyway, the worst part of the day, was somewhat realising, everything I thought was right, was a joke to another. I don't agree, yet I have to.

I hate being in this world. I don't want to find out the truth, yet still having to face it. I want to do the right thing, yet end up doing the wrong one. Trying to help, yet becoming a joke to others, and creating problems for myself.

Again I blame this on karma. I must have done something really horrible in my previous life, and now "what goes around, comes around".

I won't care or bother anymore.

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