♥ Princessa's Royal Diary ♥ - Royalty has never been so PINK!

I'm currently at the wake using my Xiao-Xiao-Bai, my tiny little Asus Eee PC, right now and trust me, it is not AT ALL typer-friendly.

On February 16, 2008, which is 3 days ago, my grandma departed this world and went on to the next (if it exist that is).

Strangely enough, the night before, my left eye started jumping, and I felt a cold chill up my spine. Although I wasn't the superstitious kind, I somewhat knew something bad was about to happen.

I'm not sure why, I guess it had something to do with the 'bad omen' I felt, but earlier that day, the day my grandma passed away, I actually visited my grandma and bid her farewell.

It's really strange because I've never done it before. Like I said, I'm not sure why I did it, but I did.

I am very sad, especial when I remember the times when I was still somewhat a kid and she was still very much bubbly and active.

I remember the times when she would laugh at me when I did something silly or praise me when I did something well.

I remember the times when she would console me when I'm sad and tell me that things will become better, in Chinese of course.

I remember the times when I would really piss her off but all she does was give me a black face and nag at me. She never actually hit me before.

I remember the times... Many a times...

Although these are happy memories, the fact that there won't be another kinda makes the happy memories the most painful ones.

Still... I'm not sure why, but until now, I haven't shed a single tear.

Am I simply that heartless?

Perhaps. Perhaps not.

Although her departure truly saddens me, but deep down I know it's for the better.

Have I mentioned my grandma loves to be pretty?

Whenever she went out, with or without me along, she would always make up, dress up and everything.

She always looks so young and cheerful. Most of my friends that met her for the first time (those that haven't met my mum yet that is) would always comment that she is my mum and never my grandma.

Sadly, after she fell ill, she started to become hagged. And after her last break down, 3 and a half years ago, she was completely bed ridden.

Tell me. How could someone with so much life be condemned to lying on a bed?

It must have been unbearable.

It would be naive to think that she could recover. I guess that is why I believe, this is for the better. At least she no longer has to suffer.

To my dearest grandma, I love you so very much. I thank you for everything you've done for me, and I pray that you're now at a better place, happy.