♥ Princessa's Royal Diary ♥ - Royalty has never been so PINK!

Never truly understood what goes on in my mind. Sometimes I think this is me, but a turn of an eye and I'm something else again. If I can't even figure myself out, do I really expect anyone else to be able to?

I try not to think of the past, a lot of things that I've done previously, I'm living to regret it now. It's not really major stuff that can't be forgiven, but sometimes it's the little things that you just can't let go. It's those little things that brings back embarrassing memories.

What was I thinking? Why did I make those ridiculous decisions? How did it all go by so quickly?

There are, of course, incidents that are a little more than just "youthful mistakes".

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I believe in karma, and sadly, I think I've incurred quite a bit of it during my younger days.

Someone unexpected added me on Facebook. Someone from the past, long-long-long ago. I never really thought we'd get re-acquainted. In fact, I kinda had the impression that if he saw me on the street, he'd walk away in another direction. Not that I did some horrible thing to him... but I didn't really think we were friends to begin with. Well, guess the bear was right after all. Guys don't really remember minor details.

Anyway, because of this unexpected "request" that popped up in my email from Facebook, I couldn't help recalling supposedly "major incidents" from the past.

For instance, my totally scandalous switch between boyfriend 1 to boyfriend 2 then back to boyfriend 1 again. And of course, the "I kinda like you" and end up breaking up with them for no god damn reason - probably cause I didn't actually like them to begin with. Come to think of it, I'm not even sure if we even got together.

Thing is, when we were purely friends, I did like hanging out with them. But when it became a little more than that, I kinda got really irritated with EVERYTHING they said or did. Recalling the psycho that took a pen knife out at Bedok Interchange. My sister and I freaked.

What's his name... oh bugger.

Yes, I admit. All the supposedly "major incidents" somehow or other involved some guy. Some of which I don't even remember their names. No seriously. I remember this guy I dated, as in seriously dated for like a month or 2, or even 3. And I have like totally no idea what his full name was. I'm not even sure if the name I know him by, was a name in his NRIC. If not mistaken, I went to his house before and even met his mum. Not that I can remember where his house was like a day after.

That particular guy also happens to be the guy that I kinda feel I owe a lot to. He's probably married with kids now or something. I've been like looking around for him but cause I don't remember any of his friends' names or his name to begin with... the trail is heading no where. It's basically HOPELESS! Guess I'll just have to wish him the best. Not that I can (or will) do anything even if I find him.

See what I mean when I say I don't know what I'm thinking. I really don't. Random stuff just pops into my head and I either say it (and get into trouble), write it (and get into trouble) or do it (and get into trouble). I've gotten into trouble for saying, writing, doing stuff so many times until now I practically don't say, write or do anything. And not saying, writing or doing anything is kinda getting me into trouble too, but a different kind of trouble. It's complicated.

Since I'm talking about "the guys" might as well talk about what I remember about this surprise "visitor" that really didn't say much. He just happens to be a person that I didn't forget. Probably cause... actually, I really have no idea why I didn't forget. I tend to erase stuff from my memory a lot - something like reformatting but backing up selective data first. There are incidents in my life and people that I know that I've completely wiped out of existence. It's not them, it's me. Wrong time, wrong place I guess.

The "he" I'm referring to is George. I'm pretty sure Jackson remembers him since he (Jackson) totally bad mouthed me in front of him (George) like I don't know how many times. He really didn't think I'd find out I guess. Not that it really mattered. Back then, Jackson was just an annoying, arrogant, irritating pest. Strange enough, he was kinda my best friend for quite a while... until... "the incident" which I really do not want to recall.

So, as far as I can remember, George should hate me. Come to think of it, many of "the guys" should hate me except for a handful of them. Then again, hate is probably too strong a word. It's not like I stole all their money, burnt down their houses and ran away.

George should hate me right? Or shouldn't he? Oh wait, he shouldn't... or should he? Oh gosh, I can't really remember that part. Guess he shouldn't (or doesn't) hate me since he added me on Facebook. And what's there to hate, it was 10 years ago. Plus, I'm too adorable to be hated (according to the bear).

I'm not really saying anything about him at all am I?

Hmmm... 10 years ago cameras weren't exactly the everyday tool. I actually don't remember taking any photos with him at all. Oh well, since that's the case, let's just take it as nothing happened. And if we happen to stay in contact after being re-acquainted, let's just start off from there. No sense trying to recall stuff that I probably stashed away.

There is one guy that I really WILL NEVER FORGET! And it's also because it happened not too long ago.

For as LONG as I LIVE I will NEVER get re-acquainted to that ASS that stays in Jurong West. He's married now, probably abusing his wife and kids. Maybe a couple of years down the road Winnie is going to come tell me that his wife divorced him and left with his kid.

People do not change! Especially this kind of people. I do not believe that he will change for the better. Seriously, it's not possible. Cunning, cheating, abusive, EVIL person.

I never knew I hated him that much. Guess I never really bothered recalling so all this anger didn't surface. Now that I'm thinking about it... yeah, he's an ass.

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Probably won't do any good to society. Better off dead. Hopefully his kid inherits more of his/her mum's genes. She's probably really nice, sweet and patient to be able to tolerate and marry such a ridiculous excuse for a human being.

And to think, this is one of the guys that I dumped. Usually you tend to hate the one that dumps you. Geez.

Suddenly, I'm a little curious how Seany is doing. The last I remember he was getting over this girl. After that because of the ass, we kinda lost contact again even though he is still on my MSN.

I wish I was young again. I'd like to relive all the mistakes I've made and make more! You can only make this kind of mistakes when you're young. When you get older...

Even though I'm back in school, it really doesn't feel the same. I miss the uniform days. I miss not having to worry about a pay cheque. I miss... not caring about "him".

Caring is perhaps the most annoying, irritating, ridiculous emotion ever!

I am not going to forgive the bear until he apologises to my sisters. IT IS HIS FAULT regardless what stupid reasons he came up with. Even though my sister isn't exactly a kid, doesn't mean she can't be pissed up and throw a little temper. He should know better. If he really thinks he's the bigger person then I don't see what's wrong in giving in and apologising. Furthermore, it was his fault.

If you know it's your fault, regardless whether the person treats you with attitude or not, you should still apologise. If he/she still gives you shit after you apologise, then fine, he/she is an ass. But as long as you don't apologise, you're the ass.

But of course, it is an exception when it involves me and the bear. I am never at fault. It will always be the bear's fault. So, no matter what, he should always apologise to me first ;P .

The photo really says nothing. Hoping that whatever happens in the future, Priss will always be my best friend.